my biological clock...

i've had a few days to think about this...to digest having come so close to what could be an answer to the question of "How the hell are Henry and i going to have a baby?!!"

a few nights ago, i spoke to Doron Mamet Of Tammuz International Surrogacy, founder of a company that was the subject of a documentary that i've mentioned in this blog a few times before. he had graciously stayed up until around one o'clock in the morning in Isreal to give me a call to chat about his company and the services they offer.

it was very interesting to speak with him. i was a little starstruck, if that makes sense. he is a gay man. he is a father. he and his partner wanted a child, and finally decided to go with surrogacy as a means to build their family. i definitely felt a connection and a level of understanding there.

he has what i have always wanted.

Doron gave me tons of information to think about. he elaborated on much of the information that i'd already checked out on his website, which helped because i instantly forgot most of the questions that i had for him as soon as we started speaking(i really should write things down!!!). he answered some questions about timeline, finances, and exactly how thing would work, should Henry and i choose to use his company to move forward. i have his e-mail, should any additional questions come to mind. basically, no muss, no fuss. they're there when we're ready. hmmmm...

i think that i would like to have had Henry on the phone with me when i spoke with Doron. i think that i would love for him to have been a part of the questions that i had to ask, but i am the one of us writing this blog. i am the one experiencing my own feelings and excitement...and occasional disappointments.

i felt a little weird when i'd gotten off of the phone. i had all of this energy coming out of my ears, and was breathlessly tying to explain to Henry my entire twenty minute conversation as fast as possible. he sat and listened, but he wasn't ready to jump though the ceiling like me...

Henry is very much of the mind that, when we are meant to have a child, it will happen easily.

i am a bit more aggressive, and forceful, one might say...or compulsive.

fine.

i just think that my biological clock is ticking, and i'm perfectly willing to push to get what i want in life.

after recently coming to the realization that there's no way for me to adopt, as long as i live in the backwards state that i live in, i'm excited that there's an option for us. i'm excited!!!

that's me.

it's just that i feel really amazing at this point in my life. i am married to an amazing man. we have an unbelievably magical life with one another...which could only be made more wonderful by having babies, and raising a family.

tick tock, tick tock, tick tock...

joel